Me: "Alexa, did you swim today?"
Alexa: "Yes I did Mommy."
Me: "Hmm, really? Because you are still in your pajamas. And your towel and swimsuit are not wet."
Alexa: "I went swimming! For real, I did. They just dried."
Me: "Oh, well, I just have never seen a suit and towel dry this quickly."
Alexa: "Mommy, I'm not lying! They dried. A chemical made them dry so quickly."
Over Thanksgiving, Jennifer and I were talking with my family about how tired we were, and how exhausting it is being parents.
Alexa [to Jennifer]: "Mama, did you have a baby in your belly?"
Jennifer: "No, Mommy had you and Oliver in her belly."
Alexa: "Then why were you tired, Mama?"Touché, my child, touché.
Alexa: "Mommy, remember the other night when I was sick and I didn't want you to take me to the doctor."
Me: "Yes."
Alexa: "Well, you have to respect me."
Me: "Um, well, didn't going to the doctor that night get you medicine quickly that helped you feel better."
Alexa: "Yes, but I didn't want to go to the doctor. You have to respect me. I wanted you to just called the doctor."
Me: "Hmm. We did, but they said they had to see you before you could get medicine. That's why I took you."
Alexa: "Well, your idea was okay. But you have to tell me. I didn't know you called the doctor."
Me: "Okay. I hear you. I will respect your words and tell you when I call the doctor next time."
Alexa: "Thank you, Mommy."
Me: "Alexa, how old are you going to be on your next birthday."
Alexa: "4! How old are you going to be Mommy?"
Me: [slightly heavy hearted] "40."
Alexa: "4! 40! We are the same! We are the same but a little bit different."
Me: "Yes, just a little bit different."
Me: “I’m sorry honey, I know I hurt your head a bit when I do this. I’m terrible at it.”
Alexa: “It’s okay Mommy, you aren’t terrible. You are horrible at it.”
Me: “Well, as long as I’m horrible and not terrible. Thank you, sweetie.”
Jennifer: "Honey, let me lay you down in bed or on the couch."
Alexa: "No Mama. I want to be outside. I don't want to miss the beautiful day."
Alexa: "My head hurts so much. And I don't know what to do about it!"
Me: "Alexa, what do you want to be after college?"
Alexa: "I want to be a judge!"
Me: "What do judges say?"
Alexa: [with a pretend gavel in her hand] "ORDER IN THE COURT! Oh, no, I'm going to be Superwoman! I'm going to fly around AND save people!"
Me: "Fantastic. Maybe you can be both."
Alexa: "Mommy, are you having a conversation?"
Me: "Yes, I'm talking to your Mama."
Alexa: "Mommy, can you have a conversation with me? Can you talk to me about your work?"
Me: "Hey there, that's my sandwich!"
Alexa: "Oh, yeah. Can you share with me? Thank you."
Me (with a smile): "I guess I will."
Alexa (leaning back and looking at the sky): "What a beautiful day it is today."
Alexa: "Mommy, want to have Hanukkah with me? I'm just pretending. But do you want to play Hanukkah?"
Me: "Sure."
Alexa: "Come to my seder." She pulls out her Passover seder wine glass and saucer. "Have some matzah brei." She touches the saucer. "Do you want parsley? Do you like parsley?"
Me: "Um, okay. yes."
Alexa: "No Mommy, pretend you don't like parsley."
Me: "Oh, then no, I don't want any. I don't like it."
Alexa: "Okay, then you can have this matzah brei instead. And here is your glass of wine. We are going to pass the cup around."
Me: "Is there some for Elijah?"
Alexa: "Elijah isn't coming here. We live too far away for Elijah to come over."
Me: "Hmm, how does Oliver feel today?"
Alexa: "Smiley."
Me: "and talkative. How do you feel today Alexa, talkative too?"
Alexa: (giggling) "Mommy, no, I know how to talk!"
Alexa: "I feel happy and smiley and lovely...and adorable."
Me: "Excellent. I will write that down."
Alexa: "We haven't had cherries in a long time."
Waitress: "Oh, really."
Alexa: "Well, sometimes we can have cherries...or pomegranates."
Alexa: "Mama, why are they [your job] giving you more money?"
Me: "Because Mama works hard and is very good at her job, and they are rewarding her for that."
Alexa: "Mama, you are the most special girl today."
Neighbor: "Alexa, I heard you are having a birthday soon. How old are you going to be?"
Alexa: "3. But not zero, because zero is nothing."
Neighbor: "Well, I must go get my hair cut."
Alexa: "You going to get trim?"
Alexa: "I am so happy. You are in my life."
Alexa: "Mommy, you don't have a dad anymore."
Me: "Well, I have a dad. He just isn't here with us anymore."
Alexa: (concerned face) "We need to buy you a new dad."
Alexa: "I want Grandpa to be here."
Me: "Me too, my love, me too."
Me: "Maybe we will give Oliver a bath when we get home from school. Will you help me?"
Alexa: "Well, [pause] I don't think so. I'm going to be busy...playing."
Me: "Okay then, I appreciate your honesty."
Alexa: "Oliver, I love you. Remember, even if I'm not with you, I'm in your heart."
Me: "Alexa, stay by my side, please. Stop running around and stay in my sight."
Alexa: "Mommy, my body is telling me to it needs to keep moving."
Alexa (at public rest room): "Mommy, go outside the bathroom. I don't want to see you."
Me:"Okay, call when you are done."
Alexa:"Mommy, if someone comes to the door, don't forget to tell them it's occupied."
Me: "I won't forget."
Alexa: "Mommy, what can I be when I grow up?"
Me: "Anything you want, sweetheart. What do you think you want to be?"
Alexa: "Um...a ghost."
Alexa: "Mommy, what do you want to be when YOU grow up?"
Me: "Aren't you sweet, I wish I knew my love, I wish I knew."
Alexa: "Mommy, please put my apron on [to do some baking]."
Me: [put it on her]
Alexa: "I'm the cutest thing in the world."
Me: "Yes you are."
Alexa: "You are the cutest too, Mommy."
Alexa: "I want to give Joey [our cat] a piece of my chicken."
Me: "Nope. Only I can do that, because I'm her mom."
Alexa (with no hesitation): "I'm a part of you, so I can do it too."
Me: "How'd you sleep, Alexa? Did you dream about your friends?"
Alexa: <adamantly> "No, Mommy. I had no dreams. I slept with my eyes open."
Me: (making up a song in the car) "I love Alexa, I love Oliver, I love Mama."
Alexa: "Mommy, don't forget yourself."
Me: "Of course. I love myself."
Alexa: [singing] "I love myself too."
Alexa Morning Quote
On the way to school this morning, Oliver started crying.
Alexa: "I think he wants me to sing the Continent Song.". (See practice version below).
Oliver: "Wah wah, cry, cry."
Alexa: "I think he wants me to sing it loud." And so she does...very loud.
Oliver:
I think she's mastering this big sister thing.
Alexa: "Mommy, I have something to tell you."
Me: "Yes, love."
Alexa: "Obama won!"
Alexa: "This is my bra." (referring to her tinkerbell undershirt she put on under her pjs)
Jennifer: "Oh is it? Well it does cover your boobies."
Alexa: "I have big boobies."
Jennifer: "No you don't. You have tiny boobies."
Alexa: "Well, when I get older, I'm going to have big boobies."
Jennifer (under her breath to me): "Probably not kid, given your genetics."
Me: "Alexa, have a good day at school today."
Alexa: "Mommy, after school I'll come home and help you burp my baby [Oliver]. Then my friends will come over and pet his hair."
Me: "Sounds good. Thank you for being so helpful."
